R&B Ballads - #13

#13

Boyz II Men - End of the Road

1992

Will you love me again like you loved me before?

Woo-hoo!: Not once, but TWICE, does that deep-voiced guy talk during this song, including an unprecendented monologue right at the beginning of the song. This is why Boyz II Men is getting their fourth mention on this list, while a band like IV Example has (and only will have) one mention. They work this genre like Hans sharpening a skate, with care and soft hands. This includes fading out the music at the end of the song to leave us with some acapella goodness. Mmm, acapella.

D'oh!: Stupid Boyz II Men. Other than that, well, I think they might be endorsing suicide with this line: Pain in my head, oh I'd rather be dead. Also, as much as I praise the talking aspect of these songs, I don't like it when he says Yes, I feel pain too. There's just something about the way he says it. I think he wants to call her a dumbass, but refrains from doing so. Just go with your gut, man.

The Deal: Good video too. I think this is a good time to mention Motown Philly, a good song which of course won't be on this list for genre reasons. That song had a good feel. Hard to describe; kind of like how Regulate had its own feel. Two different feels: East Coast Swing versus G-Funk. I liked both.

R&B Ballads - #14

#14

IV Example - I'd Rather Be Alone

1995

Though I gave you my heart, you were just playing me all along

Woo-hoo!: A lot of emotion on this one. We may not have had this much emotion/passion since #25 Freak Me by Silk. But this is a different type: it's filled with longing and a bit of despair as well. I mean, they'd rather be alone. Can't say it much clearer than that.

D'oh!: Which song was it before that I was complaining about too much whining? I forgot, but this song has some of it too. When It just isn't fair is part of your chorus, you've got a whining problem. Also, I think they missed a golden opportunity to have some deep-voiced guy start saying stuff in there. Maybe they don't have a deep-voiced guy, but in that case, they should've gone out and gotten someone to do it.

The Deal: Yeah, these guys basically did nothing else other than this song. In fact, they're so unfamous, I'm still not sure how to spell their band name: is it IV or 4 and is it Example or Xample and are the two connected or is there a space? These are questions that may never be answered.

R&B Ballads - #15

#15

Blackstreet - Before I Let You Go

1994

True love is so hard to find, and it's right between your lips and mine...and mine

Woo-hoo!: Horns! Yeah, horns! I'm not very good at naming instruments, but this horn (trumpet, saxamaphone, elephant?) they've got in there is pretty sweet. It's a good little sound and what makes it extra good is that they don't use it too often. It's one of those sounds that if you heard more than a few times it would start to get annoying. Props to the ending too; kinda reminds me of something you might here at a concert in the 1950s.

D'oh!: For the most part, I dislike choruses. First of all, who decided that every song needs a chorus? That's why when I hear a song sans chorus, I immediately give it originality points. The problem with this song is that the chorus (like many of its brothers) suffers from repetition. The same thing is repeated four times. Considering that a chorus is a repetition in the first place, this makes me mad.

The Deal: I also like the line in the song when he says "It's always the litte things I remember and I can't just let slip away...slip away." Odd, cause we just learned today that I don't like choruses for their repetition. But I guess I like it when 2 words are repeated. You learn something new everyday.

R&B Ballads - #16

#16

Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry

1994

Some people work things out and some just don't know how to change

Woo-hoo!: Really, just a great song with a great message. What's the message? Umm, something about not waiting or something. Trust me, it's good. Also, Boyz II Men might be the perfect examples for this genre. It's all about harmonizing (which they do better than your average four Joes from Philly). Add some music that makes me want to download the instrumental immediately, and you got yourself #16.

D'oh!: Too much Boyz II Men in this list. I don't like groups/artists/teams that win a lot (well, except for the Patriots and Red Sox) and that's exactly what B II M is doing while making everyone else look foolish. Nobody has even been mentioned twice so far, while they've already got three. And we're only on 16! When will this madness end?

The Deal: Don't start thinking that I mistyped the signature lyrics. That line is repeated twice in the song: once as "Some people will work things out..." and once without the "will". I decided to use the latter, but both are good.

R&B Ballads - #17

#17

Keith Sweat - Nobody

1996

I promise to give it to you just the way you like

Woo-hoo!: Who can love their man and woman like these people? The answer to that is "Nobody." Keith Sweat and Athena Cage (bonus points for her cool name) work together well on this song. I like the part where after "And the band keeps playing on" when they repeat 'on' multiple times.

D'oh!: A bit too much hubris (an arrogance due to excessive pride and an insolence toward others) from these fools. Nobody? Seriously, you think you're the best ever? They should have something like the Olympics (or Spellympics) for people who think they are the best at doing this stuff. Might be a little X-rated though.

The Deal: You won't be seeing "Twisted", another good Keith Sweat song, on this countdown. It's good, but doesn't establish itself in my genre.

R&B Ballads - #18

#18

112 - Cupid

1997

Cupid doesn't lie, but you won't know unless you give it a try

Woo-hoo!: Just an overall good song. I hear it and sway a little bit from side to side with my eyes half closed, but that's just me. Perhaps other people do their own things. Slim's (I think that is the main guy of 112's name) voice just kinda rocks me into a nice warm place. In this place they have fresh apple pies and bread that is still being baked. It's not papo seco, but it's still some damn good bread.

D'oh!: What's up with all the contradictions in this song? Like "Girl if I told you I love you, that doesn't mean that I don't care" and "When I tell you I need you, don't you think that I'll never be there". I know it goes with the chorus' line of "Baby I'm so tired of the way you turn my words into deception and lies", but this is just silly. If this girl is turning all these heartfelt words into deception and lies you need to leave her ass ASAP.

The Deal: I think it was at a track meet when I first heard this song. One of my Portuguese running compatriots told me he liked it and, after I gave it a listen, I judged it not that good. Seven years later, I like it. Much in the same way I liked my steaks well done and now I can order a piece of bison medium. Perhaps the next step will be ordering some horse medium rare. And then, who knows? Bigfoot rare might sound delicious.